The other day I saw a
friend who, within 18 months, has meet a man, married him, got pregnant (due
soon) and brought a large rural section to build a brand new house on. She also has her own successful
business, as does her husband, along with multiple rental properties and fancy cars. She was relaying a story of
how someone asked her if two years ago she thought her life would be where it
was now and that she would have ‘everything she wanted’. I asked if she did have everything she
wanted and her reply was immediate and unwavering - “NO”. I asked her what else she could want
and she said “to win the lottery and build a mansion and…”.
I found this
incredulous. I am not begrudging
of anything she has. Of course I
would love these things (especially the baby!) but it made me realise how
unless you are satisfied with what you have, you will never truly be happy.
I am happy and proud of
where I am. Obviously there is one fundamental thing I would love to
have – my daughter alive – but of everything else, I’m satisfied with where I
am right now.
I am proud of what I have
achieved in life including moving from my home town to the big city at 21,
putting myself through University, moving to the other
side of the world to live and work in London, travelling through Europe, Asia
and Australia and forging a career amongst all of that. I like that we’ve now
settled down in a (rented) house in a neighbourhood we love. That we live comfortably and enjoy each
other’s company.
I like that we have many
good friends who we care about and who care about us. I love that I found the
man of my dreams so early in life - I love loving him and love being adored and loved by him straight back. I love having a big sister who is
amazing and acts as my counsellor, confident and best friend.
I am thankful for my
sisters beautiful little people, my nieces & nephew, whose impact on my life has been immense,
especially in the last few months since their cousin died. They know I am sad
so the hugs are free and flowing and rich with sincerity and love and are like
big loopy stiches for my heart.
They do not have an agenda, they do not need me to be anything I am
not. They remember Amelia as their
cousin and talk about her by name.
I love them whole heartedly for this.
Amelia’s death is
horrific and if I could change it I would. But I can’t. So
I integrate it into my life and am instead grateful to know the love of a
parent.
I am glad that I can still
recognise the things that bring happiness to my life. Loosing my daughter was one big way to learn this lesson,
but it’s a lesson I’ve learnt and I’ll take it. No more “keeping up with the
Jones’” for me!
I just wish more people
could feel content with where they are and what they have.
