I sit in a crowd. I watch the happy families. And I wonder who she’d be.
Would my Amelia be the boisterous
little girl grooving away at the front to the band. The sweet little girl running circles around her daddy and
then enveloping him in a hug.
Would she have curly hair like her daddy had when he was young, or straight
hair like her mummy.
I think of too many
things and it breaks my heart all over again. I wish this mystery of her didn’t haunt me. No, actually if I were to wish
anything, it would be for her to be alive.
Weekends are my sad time
now. My weekdays consumed with
work let my mind remain occupied.
And then the weekend comes and there is space to remember what I don’t
have. The 6 month old little girl
sitting on a rug in the sunshine at a fun event in the park - an event that
would have been fun, but instead became a tortuous reminder of all I will miss out on with my daughter.
I love you Amelia.
Ugh, so many things we will never know about our babies. Missing Amelia with you!
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard not to wonder isn't it? To wonder who they would have been?
ReplyDeleteI wish that your Amelia had been sitting on a rug in the sunshine with you.
I wonder ALL the time. I have my son who has so many of the same physical features as Camille and I can imagine a little blond curly headed girl who looks like him only with big lips doing things he did at her what would be 8.5 months old. UGh...I so wish Amelia was here with you.
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