For the 6 month anniversary of Amelia’s birth we
installed two new plaques - one on a central memorial plinth and one on her grave.
It made the day less hard as we were doing something practical and nice
to honour her.
Amelia is buried in our home town so on Easter Friday
when we went down to visit a friend who has just had her baby, we popped out to
the cemetery to visit.
We were greeted by an unmarked grave.
Just the most
awful feeling – I felt guilt that I had neglected her even though it was not
something we had done. Luckily we
had the old plaque we had removed still in our car so put this straight back
in. The plot next to ours had
their plaque missing too (they are small silver markers).
I rang the cemetery once they opened after Easter and
asked if they had removed it because it didn’t comply with regulations. But no, they hadn’t.
So the only assumption I can make is that someone took
it. But why? I’m so confused, I wonder if the plot
next to us had taken it as an example to get their own made up since their
marker was missing too – but why would they do this, they have lost a baby too
so surely they would understand how upsetting that would be. I just can’t think of any other reason
why someone would remove the marker off a baby’s grave.
Ugh, sickening. I am sorry you had to experience that. As baby loss parents, there is very little we can do to "parent" our babies and making sure they are remembered and honored is one of those things we can do. When that little opportunity is compromised, it hurts even more- like we betrayed them or should've known. How it's possibly to feel guilt even after their death is just a lucky side affect. Hah, luck. Not something any of us really claims to have anymore. :-/
ReplyDeleteThat' s terrible. I'm so sorry! I cannot even imagine why someone would do that.
ReplyDeleteUgh, I'm so sorry. That doesn't make any sense at all.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog, and I must say that I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I love the name Amelia. It was on my short list of girl names. My Nathaniel died just two months before your daughter.